Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize