Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
