In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cut my penus on the lid.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
