i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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