Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
