Are we in a gay sports bar?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
