I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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