Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
