i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
17 year olds will be the death of me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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