I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
