I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
