too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
