Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
