so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
