I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
even my farts smell like vagina
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
