I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
