If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
