we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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