I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize