I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
