it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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