I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
