I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
