I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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