I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
