no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
