I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
