you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Randomize
