windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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