I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
