it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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