it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you had me at cake vodka
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize