Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
