I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
