so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
