You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
