4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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