i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
