just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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