also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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