So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize