She is in my trunk
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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