so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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