So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
