what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
