so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
