But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
