why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
bring money and cleavage
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
