Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
