He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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