My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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