Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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