where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
handjob tips. give me some.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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