i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
