Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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