to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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