id be glad to
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
