The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize