As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
