Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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